i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
