I'm jealous of your bromance
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
