Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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