The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
