We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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