just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
