Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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