all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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