I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
