Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
