Soap is not a condiment
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
