he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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