That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
