you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
