Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
