Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
