Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
