It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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