I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
