Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
