remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
