can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The air was thick with penises
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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