so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
