look no pants
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
