yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
