are you so shy because you have an std?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
