I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
