cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bring me that man meat
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize