I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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