i think i have two assholes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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