your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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