Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
