lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
