Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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