I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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