The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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