Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
