I'm drive I can fine osifer
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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