Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry maydaycaptain hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

Fav 66 2120 4172
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.

Fav 34 1164 6017
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

Fav 73 7888 1174
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.

Fav 29 7980 1175
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

Fav 32 8618 1702
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

Fav 12 4671 1406
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.

Fav 3 764 2601
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain

(330): View more from Ohio

Marry him now.

Fav 6 1464 724
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!

Fav 0 95 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT