There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't want my vagina anymore.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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