dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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