I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You smell like stripper and shame
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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