I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
