he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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