My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
