So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i think i just lost a toe
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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