I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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