Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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