I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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