I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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