dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
