He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize