I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
