apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
