I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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