Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to make out with him forever
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
