i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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